I was searching the news for LDRs this week and came across an article containing tips for ending your long-distance relationship.  The advice in the article was simple.

• Sit down and think about whether or not you really want to break up
• Talk with your partner
• Go socialize and move on

These ideas are common sense for any relationship.  When you decide you and your partner and moving in different directions, it might be time to break up.  But how do you break up with someone living in another country?

photo credit: woodleywonderworks

Let the relationship fizzle out

Many long-distance relationships end this way.  Both people start cutting down their communication with each other.  If you’re sure you want to end the relationship, let it fade away naturally.  I have seen LDRs end this way and the people involved often end up as friends since there wasn’t a dramatic end to the relationship.  Usually the communication becomes almost non-existent and stays that way until one person sends an email confirming the end of the relationship.  If neither partner is enthusiastic about the relationship anymore, this approach is a way to avoid the awkward breakup talk.  Or at least a way to preface that awkward breakup conversation.

Don’t break up via text message or email

When your boyfriend or girlfriend is living thousands of miles away, it is tempting to send a relationship-ending SMS and then turn off your phone.  I call that the “let’s pretend it never happened” approach.  Even though your partner is far away, they deserve to have their say.  Breaking up by phone or Skype is the most respectful way to end a long-distance relationship.  I often see the recommendation to wait until you see your partner in person to break up.  If you’re certain you want to end the relationship, that is only a waste of money and travel time.  Giving your partner an opportunity to talk about the breakup over the phone or Skype is fair enough.

Try not to get sucked back in

It is easy to get sucked back in to your long-distance relationship when trying to exit it.  Your partner may say things that make you doubt your decision, such as “I promise the chemistry will be back to normal on our next visit.”  He or she may also try to compromise with you by saying something like “Just wait until our next visit.  You can break up with me then if things aren’t better.”  If you are confident in your decision, don’t give in.

Have a heart and be honest

Being “dumped” is one of the worst feelings in the world.  Be honest and kind during your breakup conversation and give your partner a chance to talk.   Remember that even though your decision to end the relationship was crystal-clear, it will probably still hurt once it’s finished.  Give yourself and your ex some time to heal before trying to be friends.

Have you ever broken up with a long-distance boyfriend or girlfriend?  How did it go?  Do you have any advice for people who are thinking about breaking up with their long-distance partner?  Please leave a comment!