Holidays, just like birthdays, are some of the hardest times to be without your significant other. Here are some tips on how to keep the holidays happy, no matter what you celebrate:
1. Recognize that everyone, including your SO, has their own holiday baggage.
My mother, who is a minister and works with people on all sorts of things during Christmas season, once told me a story about how a man became extremely upset at her when the church wanted to change a Christmas tradition around. It was a large reaction to a minor change, and my mother ended her story with telling me she doesn’t get upset when people do this, because holidays hold a different set of emotional baggage for each person. That reaction was not directed at her, but the change.
You may have a similar incident which shocks you. Perhaps they hate Christmas, or make fun of the holiday music or traditions you love. If it happens, take a step back and keep your cool. Remind yourself that while maybe they should have thought about what they said before saying it, sometimes it just comes out before we have a chance to think about it.
2. Make sure to discuss time together during the season.
It’s hard to make time for each other during the holidays. Family events, parties, final exams, end of school terms – all sorts of endings and special events are going on at the same time. Make sure to claim a spot of that time for each other, even if it’s just a quick talk, and do your best to stick by it. You and your relationship are important.
Having said that, keep in mind that your idea of how much time may be different from theirs, so stay flexible. You’ll be back to your regular nights before you know it.
3. Keep it simple.
You may start out with all of these plans you want to do. Maybe it’s recording a video, sending 12 presents or some other elaborate special idea. Don’t worry about having to go over the top for them; just pick one meaningful thing, and stick with it. Your SO will appreciate a gift or a card, or even a video chat. You don’t need to be original or the most inventive person ever to give your SO a lovely holiday surprise. Keep it from the heart.
4. Take time for everyone else.
When pining for a loved one, it’s easy to overlook the siblings who want to spend time with you, or the parents who want to have dinner with all of their kids. Don’t let your relationship run your life. Enjoy all of the seasonal events with your family and friends. Go to that concert you really want to see with no regrets, even if it does mean missing a chat.
And remember: one day you may not have a chance to enjoy these things with everyone, if you’re moving abroad to live with your SO. So enjoy it while you can.
A very Happy Holidays to all!
Marisol Dunham has been a freelance writer since 2007, and now lives with her once long-distance boyfriend in Australia. An American wandering the bush, she writes about her life and writing ventures on her blog at mdunham.blogspot.com. You can find her on Twitter at @maridunham.
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Thanks for this fantastic post. Because of the shipping costs, Amir and I never exchanged Christmas gifts. Instead, I’d send him a nice e-card and a ton of pictures from my family’s Christmas celebration. He was able to see what he’d eventually be part of.